a good day to die

[temporal_affairs]

Nathan notices that he is human.

He soon learns that he is dead.

He is apparently on the hook according to some judgmental grand-high-mucketymucks for a hell of a lot of murders (well, fair enough) and the sentence for this is twelve hours with someone called Jasmine torturing him (Bella would have a fit, why isn't one of her running this place). But he's a human again, this Jasmine character can't beat out turning with only a human body to work with and twelve hours to do it in. Even with "torching" as an option. Not that he's looking forward to it.

But he still has his timer, and his timer doesn't have to know what the hell's going on to guide him. He consults it constantly. He doesn't think as quick as he used to, and the timer can't narrow things down to fractional seconds as well as it could before, but even measurements down to the half-second are good. He gets it to tell him when to go looking for one of those "contractor" types. Good of them, very kind, he'd tip generously if he had any cash on him.

The best time is tomorrow, so he waits in his dwelling - it's a brightly-painted little shoebox of a place, barely big enough to hold the bed but cheery. Kinda reminds him of the Joker.

...Oh. That's the first time he's thought of the Joker in hours.

Yeah. He's human. Mate bond is toast. He still loves him, but it's not tattooed on his soul anymore.

He still misses him. And Kerron, poor kid. But they'll have each other; the Joker will take care of their son, who'll be all grown up soon enough anyway.

Nathan takes inventory of his apartment, and he sleeps - that's novel, he still can't remember anything substantial about the last time he was human through centuries of bright-sharp vampire memories and it takes him a while to recognize the sensation of needing it - and he goes to the Crescent.

Comments

[lookingforwardtoit]

In the building's lobby, there is a desk; behind the desk, there is a man who is presumably some kind of receptionist; leaning against the desk, laughing, there is a woman who may or may not be a contractor. Neither one of them notices him immediately when he comes in.

"—because we all know how much he loves his upholstery," the woman is saying, barely holding back a laugh.

Now would be a good moment to interrupt.

[temporal_affairs]

"'Scuse me," says Nathan. "I'm told this is where I go to transfer my sentence? Because alas, I am not as kinky as my significant other, who as far as I know is not here."

("Boyfriend" sounds wrong, "girlfriend" wrong the same way, "mother of my child" not the right term in a sentence containing "kinky", "mate" - no longer accurate.)

He holds up sentence papers.

[lookingforwardtoit]

"Why yes it is!" says the woman, spinning around to face him and holding out her hand for the papers. "Gimme."

[temporal_affairs]

He hands over the file. "I was reformed by the time I died, cross my heart," he says.

[lookingforwardtoit]

She laughs.

"Hey, I'll buy it," she says, glancing at the sentence and sighing slightly before she turns the page. "You sure did get around before then, though. Whatever, nobody needs twelve hours with Jasmine, I'll take it."

[temporal_affairs]

"Thank you! And, you know, I did spend several hundred years unaware that it was possible to survive without killing people, I do not claim sainthood but I do claim ordinary levels of decency. A grand total of two people of my erstwhile species made that particular discovery without being told."

[lookingforwardtoit]

"Now that sounds like a story."

[temporal_affairs]

"Ah yes. A grand tale, starring a saint and a succubus and many less creative individuals like myself. Until my recent and fairly inexplicable death I was a vampire. It turns out that said vampires can operate on an animal diet given a strong enough stomach, but I believe we can be forgiven for not all of us making the attempt. The Emperor's father figured it out without ever even trying the traditional fare - he's the saint. And a cousin to the imperial family - these are mostly adoptive relationships, by the by - figured it out due to sentiment for her previously doomed-from-the-first-kiss paramours. She's the succubus, as were the sisters she convinced to make the switch along with her. The rest of us had to wait for the news, languishing in ignorance, eating delicious humans. Of course, after Her Majesty took over, animal diets were no longer a quirky option for the ethically qualmed but the rule."

[lookingforwardtoit]

"That's a story, all right," she laughs. "Lemme go put this in the records." She holds up the papers and beckons him down the hall, asking as she goes, "Do you know your world number?"

[temporal_affairs]

"I was not aware that they were numbered, although I was aware that there were a number of them."

[lookingforwardtoit]

She laughs.

"Remind me to look it up, then."

They reach her office—number eight—and she types his res code into the computer, clicks a button, and then hands him back his papers.

[temporal_affairs]

"You could," he points out, "simply look it up now." (Now is a good time.)

[lookingforwardtoit]

Grinning, she turns back to the computer and copies his code into another program.

...And blinks.

"No way!" she says. "You're number sixty? I'm number sixty."

[temporal_affairs]

"Oh, are you? I don't believe we've met, but when and where did you live and die?"

[lookingforwardtoit]

"Two-thousand-ish," she says. "Montreal. Why did I never hear about vampires? I'm pretty sure I'd remember vampires."

[temporal_affairs]

"Oh, we were always very secretive," says Nathan, waving a hand. "Her Majesty has been working on undoing that in the least disruptive way possible. She wishes to eventually turn every human who'll take the syringe - it's all very clean and clinical nowawdays - and thereby end death." He gestures at himself. "Or at least put it off. I really have no idea how someone managed to kill me. Probably magic was involved. Anyway. In 2000 she hadn't even taken over and the vampires were ruled by much nastier fellows; she didn't manage the trick until 2011. By and large you'd only know about vampires if one bit you, this way or that."

[lookingforwardtoit]

"Huh." She smiles. "I definitely don't remember anybody biting me. At least, not any vampires."

[temporal_affairs]

He looks her up and down.

He smiles back.

"You'd remember," he says, "if a vampire bit you. Either which way."

(He can't really purr anymore, but he can try.)

[lookingforwardtoit]

"So," she says brightly, "I was actually on my way out. Wanna come back to my place?"

[temporal_affairs]

Is this a good time to go back to her place, he wonders?

Oh yes. This is a very good time.

"That sounds delightful," he says brightly.

[lookingforwardtoit]

Laughing, she leads him back out, waving as they pass the receptionist, who rolls his eyes.

"Bye, Eights," he calls after them.

"Bye!" she calls back.